Isn’t it perfect how the memories feel the same?
Isn’t it amazing how the song remains unchanged?

 

 

“This is my favorite.  It really sums up the community y’all have.”  That’s what my best friend said when sending me this picture.  We were listening to the last speaker before I had to go on stage and share my story for the first time.  He could tell I was nervous so he pulled me next to him and wrapped his arm around me.  I remember him whispering, “you got this, babygirl.”  Just thinking about it gives me chills.  I’m so happy Emily was able to capture this moment in a picture.

His name is Jace.  The boy standing next to him Jasper.  For years, they were my family.  They taught me how to love myself.  They gave me courage to make Open Our Eyes what it is today.

Funny story… I was looking for pictures of Jasper and I to add to this blog and I came across this one:

I’d commented on it on Facebook and asked Jace why he was trying to set me on fire.  His response?  “Because I love you and when you love something you either set it free or set it on fire.”  Typical.  ❤

 

I so desperately wish things were different.  I wish I could show up at Jasper’s apartment at any time and cry about life.  When I got my last tattoo, I wanted them both to be there because they were both so influential in my sobriety.  I miss their hugs.    I miss being able to say “the boys” and everyone knew exactly who I was talking about.  I miss feeling safe.  And love unconditionally.

I don’t have that here anymore.  And some days it kills me.  Even though Jace has moved away, I still talk to him regularly and he’s still a big part of my life.  It’s been years since I talked to Jasper and I never thought this was true until recently, but he’s not supposed to be in my life anymore.  He was just there for a season, and I’m really thankful that he was.  We’ll probably never speak again but I’m so grateful for the friendship with had years ago.  And I’m so grateful for the friendship I have with Jace that will continue to grow.

 

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